" Where DO skwerls come from? Did the chitterbox demons simply slither out of the primordial ooze? Can we hold someone or something accountable for the bushytail horde and its countless minions? Is their nefarious leader, Tufty the Traffic Safety Squirrel, the product of evolution? Or spontaneous generation? Or genetic engineering? Or, are he and the rest of the aboreal terrors alien life forms sent to destroy us?
Our findings lead to the only rational conclusion, that the nut devils are all of the above, with one goal in mind: squirrel world domination over this planet. Unbelievably, there are still those misguided skwerlhuggers and skwerlverts who cling to the derisory belief that skwerls are some sort of little ray of sunshine sent here by a benevolent God to entertain us. We find this specious belief sad, so very sad.
Nonetheless, scary squirrel world has always stood for open debate on all subjects related to the pernicious skwerlien demons."